Rev. Reed Lee Pedersen's
I recently watched a video where the speaker asked the question found in the title of this reflection. Here are the parameters of that speaker’s question: What do you want for your children when they turn 18? a) D1 Scholarship to play sports at a big school b) High IQ and a full ride scholarship to an Ivy League University c) Popularity or Fame d) That they are a person of faith and character The point of this question is to check what parents place as priorities in their lives. I understand that “all of the above” is certainly something to strive and wish for, but the point of the question was to figure out which you would pick if you could only pick one. I will admit that I find this question slightly loaded because it assumes that people of faith are also people with good character. I have met my fair share of God fearing folks so filled with vile that they seek out vengeance against those who “God” deems traitors (It really amazes me how God seems to always hate the same people we do, and yet the people hated by others were the very people that Jesus chose to hang out with.) There have been plenty of news stories of people of faith who do terrible things, so how about we separate it out with a new question. What do you want for your children when they turn 18 (Pick 2)? a) D1 scholarship to play sports at a big school b) High IQ and full ride scholarship to an Ivy League University c) Popularity or Fame d) Active faith life e) That they are a good person If you could only pick two answers, what would they be? I know for myself (e) seems to be the biggest no brainer. Would not everyone want a child who is a good person? Or would you prefer and athletic evil genius (ab), a popular athlete who seems to be too aggressive and abusive to family (ac), or a smart person of faith who uses that to get what they want out of people (bd), or maybe a popular person of faith who claims their books are God’s revelation in order to increase book sales (cd)? So if I assume everyone would wish for their child to be a good person by the time they turn 18, what do you think your other choice would be? For those who are upfront about how options a-c would be picked before option d, at least you are upfront about it. The reason I ask this pointed question is because I feel many people would publicly exclaim that they wish their kids to have an active faith life (d), but the actions say otherwise. Much like parents expecting schools to teach their kids about sex, it seems that Sunday school and (sometimes) worship is where their children are supposed to learn about God and what it means to be a follower of Jesus. Sunday school and weekly worship is most certainly a place to learn and praise God, but it is meant to be complimentary to the active faith and education going on in the home. If your child was to ask a “birds and the bees” type question, would you tell them to wait until Middle School when they will learn more? Similarly, if your child asks you about God, faith, church, or anything, is your answer to wait until the next time they attend Sunday school or to just ask pastor next time you see them? If you truly wish for your children to have an active faith life then you too must be willing to have an active and open faith life WITH them. Parents who wish athletic excellence and opportunity for their children go out of their way to make sure that child gets the training and experience they need to compete at a high level. It is the same with many of the parents who wish academic excellence for their children (just read about what it takes to get into the National Spelling Bee). Fame of any kind is reached through putting in the time for a child to get exposure on a more public scene. Martin Luther’s Small Catechism was meant for parents to teach their children at home. How many parents from a Lutheran tradition have opened up the Small Catechism in recent memory? How many have invited to read over it with their children? How many parents have taught their kids how to pray? How many parents have spent at least a fraction of the time that they spent building up Santa Claus, a fictional character, to build up Jesus the Christ, our Savior? (Reed steps down off of soap box) I want everyone who answers the question I posed to actually think about it and what it means for their children and grandchildren. Would you be okay with a non-athletic, unpopular, and dummy of a person who had a good heart and an active faith life as your child? If there answer is, “yes”, then how will you measure their success and subsequently your success? Does this change the dynamic of how you raise your kids? Do you feel like you have done a pretty good job of doing it already? Alas, it seems this week’s rambling has more questions from me than answers, but I am very interested to hear your answers. Feel free to make a comment or send me an email!
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AuthorPastor Reed is a first call pastor at Augustana Lutheran Church in Andover, Illinois. Archives
July 2019
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